Fragment XVIII

Can I even imagine my life without her? How does this fucking work. You can’t force people to change but on the other hand if you want to change to help yourself and the person your with doesn’t feel like that for themselves what then. Fuck. Fuck is what then. Do I end the relationship try and plaster over the many rooms I’ve made for her within myself. Do I compromise my own potential future for another. What does that mean, what does that look like. Is that getting the ball numbing backing breaking labor job to support a kid or two and just being happy about it every day. What if I don’t want the ball numbing back breaking labor job and I don’t want a single kid let alone two. What if I want to get an education, to continue with my writing, travel, spoken word poetry. Can I have my cake and eat it to, or do I have to sacrifice.

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