1. Citizens of Jubalaw
By Order of the Good King Splat,
the following activities are banned.
Picking your nose, dancing too close,
hula-hooping and hunting for ghosts,
pretending it’s shark week when it’s not,
playing with your brand new pet Ocelot,
lazily pacing while dressed like a clown,
also making fun of King Splat’s crown,
and jumping in place with mayonnaise
in your right pocket on Thursdays.
2. Stay at Home Jubalaw!
The Jubalaw information bureau, would like to remind all citizens
that Public gatherings of more than 1.3 persons, are prohibited until
further notice. If a citizen is found to engage in Clubs, clusters, bunches
clumps they will be subject to the penalties outlined below.
- Tickling with albino goose feathers for the first infraction
- Upon the second infraction the penalty will be social distance shaming via Facebook Live where the accused is made to eat a lemon while standing on one foot while playing air guitar
- Upon the third infraction the penalty will be death-just kidding! It will only be a fine which is fine.
- These fine fines will go to build a shrine to Emperor Splat, our good king here in Jubalaw.
- He needs all of the fine fines for a shiny suit that is great and grand and wonderful and stupendous and the best that anyone has ever seen…
- (if you take Emperor Splat’s word for it)